a million little pieces

I don't like the idea of going into the ground. Maybe it is because of the finality and deadness of it of it-- you are dead, stiff as a nail, and here you rest until you decompose. However, i do like the idea of my cells going and becoming part of everything else when I die. I think I'd like to help that process along. My eyes, donated to someone who can't see. My heart, kidneys, liver, and all the other things inside of my that may still be functioning and useful can go to the people who most need then, the next ones on that long waiting list. Cremation for the rest of me, scattered in a garden (is that allowed?) or in a forest. I'm no good with plants right now but perhaps I can be of some help then. Slightly morbid perhaps, but it gives me a sort of feeling of immortality, that even though my soul isn't connected to my body anymore, my cells can keep living, and maybe continue with an impression of me on them. Perhaps whoever gets my heart will feel a little flutter when they see or hear something that I loved. Or the people with my eyes will see my shadow, catching glimpses of the spirit world (pleasant ones, not the "I see dead people" kind). I like the thought of a fern with my cells forming leaves, touching the wind and waving in it. Cellular memories of me floating around in particles all over the place; that is what I would like when I die.